On sounding Smart and seeming Skilled

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Artwork for On sounding Smart and seeming Skilled
Artwork for: On sounding Smart and seeming Skilled

A memory just came back to me that I would like to share. Here it is:

It way the day before I was supposed to hold a two day workshop at the young vision festival. I didn’t feel ready and let myself get talked into it. And I also wanted it for my ego/status.

For that whole day before the first workshop-day my mind was in overdrive mode. I would rehearse the whole thing over and over again. Every scenario. Every word. Every interaction. All while feeling completely unprepared and not ready for the whole thing.

I just realized why my mind did that.

Because growing up I survived by sounding smart an looking skilled without actually being it. And it’s this need to sound smart and seem skilled, that creates endless waves of insecurity, anxiety, emotional stress and mental overload.

It still comes up from time to time in me.