I just came home from meeting someone I barely know and did not like it one bit.
We went for a walk and the talk in the woods. It was one of those meetings where you simply spend time together. I feel completely drained. And just found out that there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing wrong with me. It is simply how I function. I don’t enjoy “non-transactional meetings”. I don’t see the point. I don’t have time for them. They cost me energy. And I believe there’s a part of me that knows that I need this energy elsewhere and therefore creates a strong resistance to such meetings in the first place.
Finally seeing in accepting that it is not right for me to “meet someone for a coffee”, instead of thinking that I should be different is a great insight to me. It gives me a lot of courage to say “no” with conviction and inner peace next time.
The Expectation to be Social
It is interesting how it is expected of us to be social all the time.
Always be open to meet new people.
Always be interested in other people.
Always spend time with other people.
I don’t think I am an antisocial person, but I notice that it is very healthy for me to accept that many times I simply do not want to spend time with other people. That I enjoy being alone. And that there is a difference between a alone-ness and loneliness.
Realising this feels wonderful.
I feel stronger for my future.