Discomfort can be a great Teacher

Scroll
Artwork for Discomfort can be a great Teacher

Sometimes feeling uncomfortable can be a great teacher. I’ve just witnessed this in my own life and would like to share the experience.

There is a woman in my life that I was obsessively in love with for a long time. I would put her on the pedestal, become obsessed with making her mine and was generally completely unable to stand in front of her as a man. I felt strangely drawn to her and yet so uncomfortable every time she put her gaze upon me.

Needless to say, it was impossible for me to meet her as a man.

I haven’t seen or spoken to this woman for quite a while, but a few days ago I found myself thinking about her. And after a while I just went with it, reached out and I sent her a quick voice message.

Overall this felt surprisingly easy. Yet at some point I found myself listening to my own voice message out of curiosity. And by doing so, I was able to notice some old remnants of my feeling of discomfort around her: I would insert fake laughs to hide behind humour. And I noticed a moment where I would phrase a question in a “safe way” instead of just asking it plainly.

It was an interesting experience.

I think such moments can be great teachers.

Moments in which you notice that you feel uncomfortable. And women can make a man feel very uncomfortable. Especially if he’s not being a man in front of them. And it is wonderful that women do that.

For the longest time, this particular woman has challenged me deeply.
Today I am truly happy that she did.

So watch out for such moments.
Moments in which you feel uncomfortable.

Embrace them. Explore them. Invite them.

Because such moments can be teachers that offer great value.
And the only thing you have to do is to become aware of them.